Metalocalypse - It's the End of the World As We Know It
by L-Space
Summary: The end is nigh, or so fears Charles Foster Ofdensen. Can he prepare the band for their destiny? Can Dethklok save the world from a bitter end? Starts right at the season 4 finale. Mostly follows Nathan and Charles.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: It's brutal, but I don't own Metalocalypse.**

Chapter One

"Revenge has come!"

The band stood and watched in horror as their former band mate, Magnus Hammersmith, plunged a knife into Toki Wartooth, followed by their producer, Abigail Remeltindrinc, meeting the same fate. Charles Ofdensen, after fighting for his life, rushed the group to safety aboard the Dethsub. He stood in front of a large window and informed what was left of Dethklok that there may be a way to save their friends.

"Toki and Abigail were just killed!" yelled frontman Nathan Explosion.

"Yeah, they were stabbed in the backs," Pickles agreed. "How can we save them now?"

"They may yet live." The priest, Ishnifus Meaddle, repeated.

"The Revengencers may have them in custody." Charles said. "Our first step is finding them. And I know just the man to do it…" he trailed off, apparently lost in thought as he wandered off. The priest chased after him, leaving the band alone.

"Poor Toki," Pickles sighed and collapsed into a nearby chair.

"Is hopes Charles is rights in whats we can saves Toki." Skwisgaar Skwigelf said as he joined Pickles. "Is ams going to kills that dildos." He muttered angrily under his breath. They sat in silence, waiting for their manager to return. When he did, Charles wore an expression of smug accomplishment. "Whats is yous so happys abouts whats when Toki is missingk?" Skwisgaar said, towering over him.

"Don't worry, Skwisgaar. We will get Toki back. And Abigail." Charles replied. "Ishnifus says he has someone who can help us. We're going to get them first."

They traveled to a small, iced over island off the coast of Antarctica. Charles led the boys to a room previously inaccessible to them; inside were five snow mobiles and a small armory. "Where did all this come from?" William Murderface demanded of Charles as he picked up an AR-15 off the table.

"Like I was trying to tell you guys – there is a much larger picture here. It all has to do with the prophecy that you are bringing on the apocalypse. We are always prepared to defend against a full on attack. Or in this case, a search and rescue."

"Search and rescue? Is Toki here?" Pickles asked.

"Unfortunately, no. We are here to find the person that will help us rescue Toki." Charles handed a GPS to Nathan. "With this, you'll find the hostage."

Nathan stared down at the device in his hand. He looked uneasy and confused. "You want us to rescue someone? That's… not doable. This is fucking insane, Charles."

Charles placed a hand on Nathan's shoulder. "You are capable of more than you realize, Nathan. You have to trust me on this." He turned and walked to a closet that contained coats and insulated clothing for them. "Just find your target and call for back up. I'll have a group of Klokateers ready to charge." He handed the gear to each band member and turned to leave. "Good luck."

The wind whipped at their faces as their mobiles plowed through the snow. Nathan, although slightly angry with Charles, was glad that they were provided the jackets. He remained silent as his companions conversed through the walkie-talkies equipped in their helmets. "So what the fuck are we supposed to do exactly?" William said with a slight shudder in his voice from the cold.

"What was Charles thinking?" Pickles replied. "We're not exactly trained for this kind of shit… what does he expect us to do?"

"We find the hostage and call for back up." Nathan growled in response.

"Buts whats do wes dos if wes gets caughts ourself?" Skwisgaar chimed in.

"Look, I don't know what we're doing either." Nathan snarled. "All I know is that I wanna get Toki back, and if this is how we have to do it, then that's what I'm gonna do." He cranked the throttle of his snow mobile and pulled ahead of the group. They drove in silence after that, the only sound being the intermittent beeping of the GPS clipped to Nathan's vehicle. "Guys, it's beeping faster. We must be close."

They slowed to a stop at the base of a mountain. At the summit, they could see smoke rising from what had to be a camp of some kind. They grabbed the back packs Charles had loaded onto their snow mobiles and began to hike up the mountain. They came to the ruins of an old temple. An odd feeling of familiarity washed over Nathan as they tread through the rubble. He studied the markings on the walls; although they were faded from years of exposure to the elements, he could make out the picture of some sort of celebration. Five figures clad in armor stood victoriously over a crowd of admirers.

"Hey guys! The fire's over here!" Pickles shouted from across the temple.

"Yous ams so smarts, dildos!" Skwisgaar scolded the drummer. "Yous ams wants us to get caughts?"

"Yeah, both of you keep shouting because that's really helping the situation." William joined in the argument.

"Come on guys. Stop yelling." Nathan said. His voice went unheard, the other three continued shouting at one another. "Guys. Seriously. Stop it. HEY YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES! STOP BEING FUCKING JERK OFFS AND SHUT THE HELL UP!" His deep growl shook the dirt in the ruins, covering them in a light layer of dust. "Well, now that we've proven that there's no bad guys here… let's go look for this 'hostage.'" Nathan led the way out of the back archway Pickles was standing by. They saw what appeared to be a campsite, complete with a small tent, fire pit and cooking pot emitting the savory scent of slowly cooked meat. "Huh. Looks like whoever's camp this is left in a hurry…" Nathan observed. The others stepped ahead of him, looking through the tent and into the pot. Nathan stayed back, surveying the surrounding area for any sign of where the tenant went. He started forward to join his band but was cut short as he was attacked from behind. He was pushed to the ground, his face buried in the snow.

"Nathan!" the others called, turning to see him face down. Atop his back sat a small, frail looking figure. It wore a hooded coat and mask, leaving no skin bare and camouflaging gender. "Who are you? What do you want?" Pickles asked the attacker.

"Ishnifus has finally sent for me, has he?" the figure growled as if it had not spoken in years. "He fears the prophesied end is nigh?"

"We were sent here to rescue a hostage." Nathan replied as he shoved his way back into a standing position. He towered over the small figure. "Are you the one we were sent for?"

"I am the only occupant of this island. If you are seeking anybody here, it is I." It entered the tent and returned with a small knapsack. "Take me to the priest."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I own the most brutal thing about Metalocalypse... NOTHING!**

Chapter Two

Dethklok boarded the Dethsub, greeted by Charles and a large group of armed Klokateers. "You're back. I must admit, I got a little nervous when you didn't radio in. Is everything alright?"

"Where is the priest?" The hooded one stepped out of the band's shadow. The voice was still noticeably cracking, but had a demanding tone nonetheless.

"So you have found the Sorceress of the Black Klok." Ishnifus' voice echoed as he entered the room. The Sorceress emitted a low growl, clearly conveying her hatred for the man though her face remained hidden. "Reveal yourself." Reluctantly, she obeyed, removing her mask and hood. Her skin was pale from lack of sunshine, her eyes glowed an amber hue in contrast with her raven black hair.

"So, what's your name, sweet cheeks?" William asked, casually placing an arm around her shoulders.

She moved so quickly out from under his arm, it was as if she had teleported. "You may call me Sorceress, for that is what I am."

"Years ago, before it was discovered she was the Sorceress," Ishnifus interjected, almost ignoring the fact that she had spoken, "Her name was Vladislava Dragan." Before the band could let Charles give proper introductions, Ishnifus whisked Vladislava away, whispering to her in a foreign tongue.

"Well. I'm sure they have much to do." Charles said dismissively. "Now, boys, while we're searching for Toki, nobody is to do anything to Vladislava. Understood?"

The boys collectively groaned. "Wait… what exactly do you mean by 'do anything?'" William asked.

"I mean no flirting, no touching, no seducing… I'm sure you get the picture. Actually it's probably for the best if you don't even look at her. We need to focus on finding Toki." Charles stated.

"What if she gets a new dress?" William replied. "I gotta tell her if it looks nice."

"Yeah!" Pickles agreed. "She's not gonna wear that robe forever. We gotta make sure she knows that the clothes she picked are okay, you know? Girls like to go shopping and they need us guys to tell them what looks good."

"And if we're gonna make her feel welcome, we have to talk to her." Nathan added.

"Wheres ams your manners, Charles?" Skwisgaar accusingly jabbed the man with his index finger.

Charles sighed, knowing they would keep going. "Fine. Be nice to her, but that's it. No flirting."

"Until we get Toki back." Pickles reminded him.

"Yes, well, as long as our primary focus is on finding Toki." Charles said, leaving the room.

"Is anybody else gonna wait until we save Toki?" William asked a few moments after they were alone.

"Actually, yes." Nathan said, stifling a laugh. "We are going to wait. You could use all the head start you can get."

"Not like it's gonna help, you know." Pickles joined in.

William scowled at them. "Just don't start bitching at me when she falls for my charm. You guys had your chance." He said defensively and walked away. The others couldn't hold their laughter long enough for him to leave the room, earning the middle finger in response.

* * *

The living area was dark, save for the flickering candlelight. Vladislava sat in the middle of the fiery star, her eyes closed and muttering to herself. Nathan and Pickles watched in awe from the doorway, trying to make sense of the barely audible whispers as they echoed off the walls. She spoke in the same foreign language as when she spoke with Ishnifus.

"I wonder if this has anything to do with finding Toki?" Pickles thought aloud. Nathan shrugged, focusing intensely on the Sorceress' movements. "I know that look… Getting some inspiration?"

"I've never seen magic done before," Nathan replied, "Except, you know, that one time we accidentally woke up that troll. That was brutal."

"This room is not soundproof nor are you quiet." Vladislava called, her back still to them, leaving them resembling a deer caught in headlights in the doorway. Sighing, she stood and faced them. To their surprise, she bowed slightly.

"So, uh, what kind of spell are you doing?" Pickles asked.

"None. I'm meditating, or at least I was." Vladislava said shortly. "I need a clear mind if I am to find your friend."

"Oh, well then we'll lave you alone." Nathan said sheepishly as they backed away.

"Stop." the Sorceress ordered, motioning for them to join her. "Magic is always stronger in numbers." The three of them stood in the middle of the star, Vladislava held her hands out for them to take. "Clear your mind of everything but Toki." She took a deep breath and began chanting once more. Nathan paid close attention to her words:

"_Poď__ku mne__, __Morana__, __v mojej__najtemnejšej__hodine, pomôžte__mi__nájsť__čo hľadám._

_Veď ma__, __Ipabog__, __veď ma__k mojej__koristi."  
_

_(Come to me, Morana, in my darkest hour, help me find what I seek._

_Guide me, Ipabog, guide me to my prey.)_

She repeated those lines, each time with a little more force. Finally, her eyes snapped open and she gasped sharply. "Vidím Toki!" (_I see Toki!)_

"Toki?!" Nathan and Pickles cried in unison.

"I have seen him. He is alive, but fading quickly." Vladislava squeezed their hands. "He is being held captive in Russia."


End file.
